Messing Up

Do you have times when you do somthing really stupid with somebody, and you hurt a couple people in the process - and all you want is somebody to just pay attenchion to you? Frustrating isnt it? I'm currently in one of these situations right now. I made a mistake, and its effected two people i really care about and i want to help them, but i just cant. and then, on the other hand all i want is somebody to just give me the light of day and pay attention to me. I feel alone. I feel like this mistake I made just cracked the balance of time and i could never fix it. I feel wretched, to the point that im, in a way, hurting myself. I cant handel this kind of thing, and its getting really hard to handel. I just hope this person finds it in himself to firgive me, and that everything will be okay in the end.

Money...Enough Said....

I dont like it. It annoys me. How come everything in this world has to always be surounded by the concept of money? Why does how much money I have have to define the kind of person I am or could be? It'd be really nice if people just didnt focus so much on these trival things and look at the person themselves, but strangely enough I know that is just not how it works...nore ever will work. It has nothing to do with my work ethic either. I'd like to think I have a fairly decent work ethic for somone my age. I just wish I could be held acountable for all of the achviements I have made, and the things I have chosen to change about this money grubbing world, instead of how many individual pennies i earned that are gaining dust in my bank account.

Tatooooooo

I getting a tatoo today ^_^ Right after school. ^_^ If the faces werent a hint im so excited i might explode. I'm totally going to show it off all week. Me and a couple of my friends are going right after school. I getting it on the back of my left shoulder. It will be pretty ^_^ But...my cimputer is going to die here in a minute, so...Ill tell you about it latta. ^_^

Carpe Diem 2010

My senior class is possibly the strongest class group in Daviess County. We have gained a pattern of losing a member of our 2010 family every consecutive year since 8th grade. We have also had many other students land in the hospital, and others even fight cancer & other incurable diseases. We are a class of fighters, and we have learned how to come together as a 2010 family - and strive. Since Freshman year, our click levels have gone down. Don't get me wrong, we still have them - but we get along 100 times better then any other class in AHS. We have learned the value of Carpe Diem, and to morn the lost but never forget them. We will graduate this May of 2010 as a class of fighters. Not as the class of the cursed - or the one with the most hurt and loss amongst it - we will go on as the class that faced constant troubles and loss of true friends - and knocked that wall down with the power of hundreds of graduating students who knew that no matter the cost - we could succeed.

IB Classes = real life

If anybody dares tell me IB is not worth it - I may just have a hernia. I'm currently in two IB classes, 2D art & theroy of knowledge; both of which relate to real life in many ways. I keep hearing that IB isnt worth it. That it will never give you anything you will ever need or could use - but it does. My mind is alot broader and my work ethic has also expanded. TOK [Theory of Knowledge] has helped me emensily in understanding the world and its opinions. It also a good realese from typical High School Drama. Being able to go to class and just disscuss topics, and widen my understanding of other cultures and subjects. When it comes to IB Art - my work ethic has trippled. I wish I took this class all throughout high school because it has put me in my place. Their are strict deadlines, and if you dont reach them - you fail the assignment. Yes there is a certain amount of freedom in the project we do, which I love, and Mrs. Sparks is AMAZING, but the best thing i KNOW I have gotten out of it [and we havent even completed a whole 9weeks mind you] is my emense rise in overall work ethic. It'd be nice if people would take a couple IB level classes before they decide to patronize them.

Love

love is a confusing lump of gas that will suffocate you till you blow up into smitherines. I am not a fan of it. I have been with my boyfriend for five years off and on. He is the most stobborn anoying, frustraiting, irritateing, little chunk of skin I have ever met in my life. But - for some unknown reason I am exensly attracted to him. He drives me up the wall -yet at the end of the day, Im completely convinced he is the one. But - the word love is a powerful word. It can both sting and numb the body at the mere sound of it. Since I was little I have never been able to say this complicated word to just anybody. I have a hard time saying it, much less admitting it presence on this planet. But...this is just me. I belive in free love. I belive that anybody of any gender or race can love spontaniously, to whomever they feel attracted to. But when it comes to me...im a whole other bag of beans. Am I the only one who has this constant deilema of neever being able to admit to being in love?

Rawr...

So...I really need to get on the ball with these here blog thingies. I've been fairly busy, and occupied my time with other things and have blown this off - so im making up for it now.

Nothing mew so far in the life of Jessica. I'm getting a Tattoo soon ^_^ I have it all designed and everything. Im sooooo excited. I've wanted one for a really long time. It makes me happy ^_^ Other then that, nothing is really new. School is still really busy, and so is work. If its worth much - I dispised Beowulf. It was just not my peice of cake. and seriously - how inapropriate can they make a movie? I mean really? It's like the whole point of the story was "Men are weak suicidal morons with swords" It was that dumb. Sorry, but it just didnt work for me.

Living my life to it's fullest potencial - one sucky day at a time

I've always in some form or fashiond been a procrastinator, but lately that habbit is being demolished. I dont really have much of a social life anymore when it comes to after school - but I'm trying. I'm in two IB level clases this year, one other college level class, and have three clubs and the newspaper to keep up with. I also have my church activities as well, and also my work. Its frustrating, but Ive always been a busy person. To top it all off - my family and I are moving again. We move allot. This time we're going to Maceo, a good 20 minutes farther then I live from civilization now. buuuuut....o well. Things will be well. I just need to re learn how to be busy 24/7 and still get some sleep at night.